Afraid of Being Alive

By Ashrei (Ima Sari Wisenthal)

When everyone you know, came to hurt you in some way,

when every help you got, was to please their own despair,

when a comforting hand was only there to pull you down,

life becomes a place permeated with a fear to be alive.

When all who said they loved you, killed you with their care,

when all who tried to guide you disappeared in the darkened days,

when all that you have reached for kept fading away,

life becomes a race of your running away.

When those who were meant to carry you, kept dropping you down,

when dreams that you shared kept transforming love into hate,

when you asked for forgiveness, for help, and got pain in their place,

life becomes the reality that you wish you did not bear.

Yet this is life, and life it is.

Your life awaits you, when you choose to live.

For G-d is within you, guiding with His silent voice,

so let go of those haters, the ones that broke your hope.

Reach deeper inwards, find the stillness He provides,

a consistency of light, a consistency of love.

Take one step out the door, with your fear try to explore;

what is life for, when you are freed from their hold?

For when vultures feed on your flesh,

as they did your whole life,

life becomes a place of epic dangerous plights.

Find your shield, the one G-d provides,

for in faith you find hope,

and in hope lives a new day, a new week,

a new life.

Walk out that door bruised and raw,

hold your pain with pride -

stay still in your commitment to

hear the voice of truth, of G-d.

As long as G-d will be your guide,

somehow,

you will reach the other side of this fear

of being alive.

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