Beware Said Mama Bear

By Ashrei (Ima Sari Wisenthal)

Beware Said Mama Bear - AI generated art

I hate this life, 

It’s all so painful,

The dark is dark,

The pain is shameful,

The kindness is drowning, 

In intentions so sinister,

A soul is shattering,

Avoiding engagement,

A mind so confused,

So easily manipulated, 

Made to forget,

The pain that birthed it,

The chance to grow,

Shine light from nowhere,

The steps out where mine,

Constructed in separation,

The dance continues,

Pretending this is ok,

When will I see?

Am I allowed to sail away?

Blocks cannot contain this,

Winds will not push through,

The movement is stillness, 

It’s provided by truth.

All pretend to care, 

Including me, including you, 

Yet this pain is mine to bear, 

So stop poking at my air, 

Do not risk waking up this ‘Mama Bear’,

It is a fight for the loosing,

When lose is the only win,

And if you come out winning, 

It is your sins that remain demeaning. 

As walk we all must,

Shame or fame is not for me,

The next step remains mine, 

Will I have the strength to lose this round?

There is no winning here, 

All it was, was stripped away,

Left only with the sweetness of death.

Save me, ruin me all the way,

No good will come out of this,

Not for me, not for you,

It is all shattered glasses - 

Grains of sand, burning fluids.

A sacrifice of epic madness,

A mind brutalized to help Your Oneness. 

Why on earth, G-d, would you not release me?

Take my breath away,

I am falling so deeply,

I once more stand, stranded, 

Where death’s taste smells intoxicating.

The alluring delusion of peace, 

No constricted existence, 

Please G-d, let me live - 

Be the breath of my relief.

How I wish to let go,

Why should I bear this pain?

No more!

Layers I have shed,

Yet…

It all remains the same. 

Am I the actual problem, 

Or is it the world that keeps looking away?

Why would you allow it -

Comparing me to other samples?

I am not as all the others were,

Knowledge of old they held,

Not a full truth contained in their head,

Insight, wisdom and a life - 

That allowed to come to light.

Yet I have trapped myself,

A villain of my own delusion. 

No heroes here,

No one wills to be saved,

It is only me and all this pain. 

Keep betraying me - 

How convenient I am.

In cyclical patterns of illusion,

Always trapped in this confusion. 

Not in death - the way out - 

Where expansion is just - 

A breath away,

A darkened embrace from there,

From where I see the visions, 

Of futures not yet come to pass.

Be careful who you play with. 

Beware of the mind you manipulate,

The cost is high,

Death is eminent,

Your regret immense,

A probability of futures still awaits us, 

If we only ever clean up this mess.

Let me be, 

Give me space, 

Let my broken vessel mend, 

without it, I am free to have joy in my hurt,

And you are all trapped - in your pain. 

Beware. 

When I fall apart - there is nowhere safe, 

Do not speak, do not stare,

Why on earth would you still care?

Know when to stop - 

Yet stop I don’t,

and don’t you dare; do not stop this push - 

Step by step, keep walking, 

Head straight into my reality, 

Find yourself in my insanity,

And feel the crushing warm embrace, 

Of this mother bear - 

Melting all your fears away.