The Break

By Ashrei (Ima Sari Wisenthal)

The Break - AI generated art

A thousand times, a thousand years,

lifetimes of my efforts, 

I give to You, offering all I have,

Yet nothing satisfied Your plans. 

I break away, from habits, from life, 

from loved ones, from 

You - a break so deep - I am empty.

You drank my soul, You let it bleed, 

You made me hurt for nothing. 

I gave to You, embraced Your visions,

I spoke to dead prophets - souls so ancient;

I walked with Moses, sat with Jacob, 

Drank with Noah, and watched the rainbow.

I saw Ezekiel peaking, heard Jeremiah speaking.

I stood with Joshua in Jericho,

Yet here I am, at the end of all these visions- 

Without my own consoling soul.

Break me once, break me twice, 

break me a thousand times more,

Yet every break completes me, builds me, 

It is my frustration that gets in the way.

For I am angry; You birthed my soul,

I did not know the pain this path contains,

I am angry for all that breaks;

I never wanted to need to stay.

You created me yearning to return to You -

Return by prayer or death -

For when you are broken, what is the difference?

I pray I die, and I die in my prayer - I am so broken. 

No blow, no hit, no painful strike can take me any lower,

You want the light, my darling G-d? 

Why plant me in Your sorrow? 

A thousand hands reach into my soul, 

Trying to grab the essence of what life is -

It's pain, it's hurt, it's ugly and brutal.

Yet light and love, beauty and hope is what I see - how? why?

Why, G-d, did You create this unyielding hope?

Why make this art to only break this thread time and again?

I lay here, take me away,

This will be my final resting place. 

Today I die. Today I break. 

Today I say goodbye.

Though maybe not quite yet…